Just for the record this summer has been nothing but a giant pain in the ass for me and my charming offspring. Esquire, however, is having the summer of dreams what with his training runs for the 50 mile race he is doing in August. You read it right. I know. Kill me first. The first memo received early summer was to let me that my first born is oops deaf. Great. So it wasn't my imagination that for the last three months I was having to put a bullhorn up to her ear and yell into it through a microphone for her to hear me. Alleriges...tubes...and we have hearing. Oh and she is allergic to everything. Including your balls. Next J also had to have a set of the tubes put in. Check. No more ear infections. And then...the biggest of all balls...B catapulted herself out our living room window. Perhaps some of you recall A doing this 3 years ago. Well I clearly didn't learn any lessons from that so I have continued to keep my windows open. Sure enough I was just getting into the tub with J when A started screaming and then...oh God...oh shit...oh big, fat balls...running outside completely naked, picking B up, B passing out, me screaming to get the neighbors, calling Esquire, going to ER, being admitted, and two broken arms and a concussion and strangely no visit from CPS. There my friends is what a shitty summer includes. Oh and just to add to the glory we are going camping for a week. Ha.