Thursday, March 25, 2010

Good God

Can you stand it? Now if only you could smell it. And yes...that is chocolate all over her face. When your throat looks like that you get to eat whatever you want. Gross.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Love and Strength to Good Joo

In the house now shy of at least one pair of T&A, Good Joo is laboring under the weight of a growing C/D, whilst hoisting B aboot and caring for a recovering A. Since the vomiting of scabs by a five year old would in and of itself be cause for extra good thoughts to be sent GJ's way, Bad Joo is doubly proud of Good Joo as she is enduring all of this sans husband. Mr. Good Joo has chosen this time to go on a brotherly adventure that will likely involve beer and the photography thereof. Those of you friendly with him on Facebook know of what I speak.

So, Good Joo, this Joo sends you much love and reminds you that you are a fabulous mother doing a fabulous job.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

This Sucks Balls

Bad Joo is back at work. And Bad Joo hates this. M, however, is perfectly content. M is perfectly content, because M is being sat upon by his beloved Gramma (The Incision) and his dear Aunt-Kelly-Nanny. And, this Joo's wonderful employer is allowing her to work only from noon until 6, with the rest of her work time being completed in flex time. In short, this Joo is VERY LUCKY.
Still, those six hours away from M are the most excruciating hours of this Joo's life. This Joo has even inquired after the possibility of a neurological epidural in order to lessen the pain of separation. To date, the only thing that has helped Bad Joo ease into this transition is the knowledge that the sticky minutes she spends furtively pumping breast milk in the corner of the conference room like some kind of bad boob junkie will result in a healthier baby M. And those fifteen sticky minutes (why didn't anyone tell this Joo that breastmilk was hot-sticky-sweet-from-its-head-to-its-feet-yeah) allow Bad Joo to think about baby M and at least pretend she's connecting with him. La SNEEF.
Bad Joo doesn't know how the rest of you working moms do it. Do tell! What are your tricks?

Monday, March 15, 2010


Oh A. You are 5 now and mostly adorable when you are not pouting, whining, crying, suffocating Gonny or hurting your sister. You are thoughtful and kind and such a good friend. GJ loves that you cried during the Haiti telethon and that any type of animal rescue commercial puts you over the edge. GJ can't even wait until we watch Whale Wars together. Then your dad will really be into us. You were so very brave for your surgery and even though your breath smells like there is a dying skunk in your throat, GJ loves you all the same. Happy Birthday to GJ's first born.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Deer Anonymous

This Joo is leaning over M, who is simultaneously loving and beating on the boob (to which he attaches himself 24 hours a day (nights too)), to respond do your bad 'Bama comment. THERE WILL BE NO MALIGNING OF THE OBAMA ON THIS BLOG. ANY FUTURE 'BAMA BASHING WILL BE CAUSE FOR EJECTION, AND YOU WILL HAVE TO NURSE M FOR A FULL WEEK. DOES THIS JOO MAKE HERSELF CLEAR?

That is all.

Thursday, March 4, 2010


GJ is so sorry for the long, long lag in posts. Ever since her husband did the unfortunate and impregnated her again things have just gone wrong. GJ got the flu (a la personal trainer barfing and shitting at the same time), strep throat, and a sinus infection. Add all that shit on top of gestating the third GJ fetus and you can understand. A has had strep throat for ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...8 weeks now. The removal of her T and A (and not tits and ass) is scheduled for the 11th. Oh kill GJ now. Today GJ took her to have her blood drawn and if that is any indication of how the surgery is going to go then really just kill GJ now. B enjoyed the drama and spent the whole horrible event laughing and running out of the room with a balloon that she got from ???? So there we have it. This month A turns 5, has surgery, GJ and hubby fork out their life savings for private school, GJ hubby leaves pregnant wife to go hang out with his lonely brother in SLC, GJ remains in the Fart hating her washer and dryer and dog who has spontaneously started eating cat shit. Stoopid.