Tuesday, March 31, 2009
I saw some of your pics via the GJ/BJ blog. They are fantastic. No wonder the GJ is divorcing her husband to marry you. When can we meet?
Friday, March 27, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
So, much like a memorial tribute loved ones publish in the paper some random date months after someone has died, Bad Joo offers this tribute.
We remember you today, dear cigarettes. And while you are no longer in our lives, we see you every day in life's little details: the shooting star that blazed past the house last night, the homeless man on the corner last week, fireplaces, bars, the random smoking people we knock down in fits of nicotine craving, very small rocks. We miss you, ciggies. You are always in our hearts.
Your Joo and Nicotine Receptors
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
guest pluto's inaugural, virginal, cherry-popping blog post will be a quaint introspective on the slow and rotten decay of youth. guest pluto is leaking into middle age. at a trickle's pace - like the longest piss of one's life (that usually occurs in a dark bathroom stall at a bar, levitating above the toilet seat to avoid toilet-transmitted-diseases, where the pee stream is painful and never-ending because one is so utterly tossed, muscle control becomes purely reflexive, with nerve signals skipping the brain altogether and working exclusively with the spine). a viscous dive into the shadow of youth.
one might think it happened upon the birth of her first child, but it actually happened about 4 months after that. guest pluto decided she no longer would drink milk. just like that. she was working for a fantastic company that was very much in tune with a new mom's needs for ultimate flexibility and the work/life balance. they had an entirely private nursing station where nursing mothers could go, plug in, pump their breasts, and then store their self-addressed milks in the spacious, stainless steel refrigerator provided. one day as guest pluto was hooked up, plugged in, spewing forth the sweet nectar of her first-born's life, it occurred to her that she was actually sitting at her place of work, squeezed between meetings (and suction cups), literally milking herself. at that moment she decided she hated milk, mostly because it comes from cows' udders, and she hasn't partaken of the vile drink since. this bold decision was the opening of the flood gates. it led to the questioning of everything (does she even like holidays? why must she clean the toilets? take this job and shove it) and the wrinkles follow not long after.
if invited back someday, guest pluto will happily share tales of her dental neuroses, involving an eternal conviction that she requires a root canal, that she will wake up in the morning with baby teeth, and that the configuration of her post-orthodontic smile is a dental pangea that can be traced back to their origins by a qualified dental technician.
i adore this blog. to any loyal followers who don't care to hear from guest pluto ever again, take this post and shove it up your "rosebud asterisk of a bum-hole" (C. Moore, "Fool") and sniff it - you'll like it better after that...
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Is this thing on?
California's Supreme Court will hear oral arguments today on the constitutionality of Prop. 8, with a ruling to be expected within 90 days of the oral arguments. The hearing starts at 9 a.m. PT and is expected to last three hours. You can watch it here: www.calchannel.com .
The Joos don't care if you're gay, straight, black, white, from California, Fargo, or Glaxon 5. Everyone deserves the right to marry. If you are opposed to gay marriage, don't get married to a member of the same sex. Other than that, why would anyone be opposed to two people who love each other marrying?
*steps off hydraulically operated pedestal, walks off stage, and turns the lights off*