The Joos, especially this Bad Joo, apologize for the long delay between posts as of late. These Joos have been very busy with stupid Joo tricks, including without limitation attending the familiest of reunions in Fort We-Have-Fake-Amish-People-For-You-To-Look-At and tending B, who is quite delayed in the development of an immune system.
These Joos promise to resume blogging w/ a vengeance.
Some of the peeps might think ahhhhhhhhh summer when they look at this darling photo of A. If they could only hear GJ sneezing, hacking, horking, snotting, weeping, wheezing, dying, etc in the background. GJ spends much of the allergy season snotting around and coughing up lots of interesting blob like items into the kitchen sink, various toilets, out the car door, in the parking lot, etc. GJ also spends a lot of time making horrible throat clearing noises while sticking her index finger 2 feet into her ear and moving it around rapidly. This is the ONLY method to relieve horrible itching between the ear and throat. It is a hot method. Allergy season is hot.
Photo curtesy of Jamie...mother of Macy...twin of B
When told by GJ that she would be attending her dad's softball game (extracurricular activity), A appeared in this outfit. When GJ arrived at the game with A, B, and Lucy (no Gonna...bad Gonna), GJ's hubby appeared to be embarrassed by the "outfit". What's wrong with a good pair of hose? With control top?
A is well aware of her roots. She was conceived in the "D" and enjoys Eminem almost as much as GJ, Good Jew, and da hubby. GJ and A have special dance time everyday where they shake it to various inappropriate songs by Eminem, D12, etc. Da hubby finds it disturbing and often shouts "THAT'S INAPPROPRIATE!" Of course it is. But he is still bopping his head isn't he? When has GJ or her offspring ever followed the social norms? Did someone suggest GJ and A dance to Kidz Bop or some other horrifying shit? Jesus music? No. The latest and greatest dance session is performed to Eminem (of course) and his song entitled "Shake That".
CHORUS: Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me, come on girl shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me A: Shake that recipe, shake that recipe, come on girl shake that recipe, shake that recipe
Only another indication that A is the shit and all other kids suck.
Bad Joo's dilemma this evening? Allow her brain to rot whilst being fed legal voyeuristic views of life in a fundamentalist family that-I-shit-you-not-thinks-God-wants-them-to-have-eighteen-kids or allow her brain to rot whilst touring the Obama White House with Brian Williams? Oh, what a quandary.
A: When you die you go to "Kevin". GJ: What? A: When you die you go to "Kevin". He makes you better and then sends you back. GJ: Who told you that? A: Grandma GJ: Kevin sounds like a nice dude.
This after weeks of re-enacting the crucifixion. All animals in our house had to die, go to a cave and come out three days later. GJ might be rethinking this whole "I want A to make her own decisions about everything". That's what the GJ gets for letting A to church with her best friend on Easter.
The two Joos get their names from their beloved mommy dearest, who was far too young when they were born, and hence gave them first names beginning with the same letter. These names have, over time, evolved from two distinct given names into "Joo." The two sisters are not, in fact, Jewish, although they aspire to such greatness.
Good Joo is the youngest Joo and is fair and bright. Prior to birthing A, B and little Ju, Good Joo was a biochemist. Good Joo and her attorney husband live in Fort Gay/Pain/Stain, Indiana. She enjoys swearing, reading, and learning about Jesus from her neighbors.
Bad Joo is dirty and wrong. She spends too much energy narrating life for super dog. Bad Joo recently quit smoking, an exercise which resulted in the deaths of several innocents. Bad Joo lives in Michigan's Bible Belt with her foreigner husband and half-breed son. Bad Joo enjoys swearing, reading, and bending over backwards for the entire fuceing world.
Original text and images copyright Two Joos 2008-2010. Other works copyright their respective owners. Please don't rip off without permission.