Taint

Please do not give Bad Joo (or any Joo, for that matter) advice about her taint. For some reason, this apparent pregnancy has given license to persons far and wide to offer up advice to the Joo. Advice she has not solicited. Advice she does not want.

Today, for example, a foreign associate with whom Bad Joo has heretofore enjoyed a nice phone and e-mail working relationship insisted upon REPEATEDLY ordering her to oil her taint. And to avoid an episiotomy. The conversation went a little something like this:

BJ: Thanks again. It's a pleasure working with you on work-related, non-crotch or perineum related matters.

FA: OIL YOUR TAINT!

BJ: I beg your ever-loving pardon?

FA: I said, "oil your taint." If you don't, you'll be sorry. And don't get an episiotomy. You have to oil your taint to avoid it. And don't count on an epidural either.

BJ: Um, okay. Thanks.

FA: Yup, gotta oil your taint.

BJ: Thanks.

FA: Oil your taint.

BJ: Well, you're a busy gal, I'm a busy gal. I should let you go.

FA: Oil your taint.

BJ: Buh bye now.

FA: (liltingly) Oil your taint.

BJ: Um, I've gotta go.

FA: Oh, me too. I have yoga.

BJ: Oh, well have fun!

FA: Oil your taint!

This woman has never had children but knows a cousin's buddy's friend who just gave birth and had to have an episiotomy. Failure to oil the taint. A tragic tale.

A TRAGIC TALE TO WHICH BAD JOO WOULD PREFER SHE NOT BE PRIVY.

So, unless you are a medical doctor whom Bad Joo is paying to offer advice, please do not offer her advice about her taint. Other areas in which Bad Joo is not currently accepting advice from laypersons include but are not limited to:

'roids
acne
headaches and migraines
the size of her motherfucking belly
the pros and cons of pain relief during labor
baby names
and the GNP.

Thank you. And God Bless America.