Monday, November 30, 2009

Five Weeks

Five weeks until C gets the fuck outta Dodge, and DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS POST if it is to inform this joo of any of the following fun facts:

(1) It only gets worse once they're out; or
(2) You should plan on being late.

This Joo does not care to learn either of those fun facts; and, unless you experienced DAILY debilitating migraines during your pregnancy; and your sister spent the last trimester spraying spray glue up your nose; AND your mother was addicted to the cancer; YOU DO NOT KNOW KNOW THIS JOO'S PAIN.

Other than that, this Joo is glowing.


  1. I went into labor last time while watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It's not guaranteed to work by any means, but it is a good way to spend an hour or two of a December evening. And much better than driving down bumpy rutted country roads. Best of luck. :)

  2. Deer HandyorNot,

    It makes perfect sense that the Island of Misfit Toys would send one into labor. I have added it to my Netflix queue. Thank you for the good advice.


  3. Oh Bad Joo, there are many of us that go into labor early with the first. Anyone that doesn't reassure you of that is trying to bring you down. A baby coming early is all well and good, until they try to hurry it along a little more with Pitocin. Avoid it at all costs, that shit is pure evil.

  4. YOU used the f word. Santa will not come to your house.