Take a Back Seat Bitch

That's what the incision said to MDH's bladder today. CANCER FREE CANCER FREE CANCER FREE! You know how MDH likes to get cancer when one of the Joos is pregnant. Not this time mothers. WHAT WHAT. BJ remains preggers, GJ remains home with sick kids and MDH remains cancer free. After all...having cancer 3 times was going to be a little over board.

About that poll (about time)

So, it would appear from our polling results that many of you believe yourselves to be called Luca. And, for the record, the majority of you would prefer that the Joos let loose with constant strings of profanity so twisted and wrong they would make a sailor cry. So it is written, so it shall be, with the caveat, of course, that the Joos are verboten by MDH to swear for, and this is a direct quote with which many of you are probably familiar, "I did not undergo ___ hours of labor without an epidural for THIS." So at least on the eve of the day o' the mother, these Joos shall keep it tidy. Not clean, but tidy.

The Incision Gets Lipo

As our astute readers will recall, MDH's pet incision recently spent a little time in the hostible, where it was learned that the Incision was packing a few too many cc's of fluid. As incisions are wont to do, the Incision has been fretting ever since learning about its excess fluid. Such fretting takes the form of causing MDH pain by building up even more fluid (bingeing), taking a long time to pick out outfits (that don't accentuate its burgeoning fluid), and pretending it won't have another slice of pie. And yet, the fluid remains. The Joos wonder how much this weight gain isn't due to a few too many rawhides.

So yesterday, MDH took the Incision in for a little lipo. It was actually surprise lipo, since MDH did not know that the Incision had scheduled the lipo and was under the impression that she was visiting her surgeon for a simple follow-up. Imagine her surprise upon finding the surgeon holding a large bore needle, a vacuum, a splash guard, a hose, a priest, and a bucket. The surgeon removed 50 cc's of fluid. What the surgeon did not do is give MDH ANY ANESTHESIA OF ANY KIND. What the surgeon did instead is offer a dizzying array of surgical interventions in and around the Incision ALSO WITHOUT ANESTHESIA OF ANY KIND. He also scheduled another lipo session for next week.

MDH is sore, and the Incision is prancing about in its vain way, especially since the surgeon said the Incision "looked really great." *sigh* Incisions these days are so vain.

Things The Joos Learned From Their Mommy Dearest Honey

1. Always pull your chin back tightly when being photographed.

2. Never order tilapia from a hospital.