Thursday, July 2, 2009

Part I of Many in the Joos' Series - Why Pregnancy Sucks

So, pregnancy sucks. At least for the Joos. Sure, for many of you out there, pregnancy is a time of glowing, contentedly stroking your ever-swelling abdomens, and trying on various fashionable slings for baby. For the Joos, however, it is a time of swelling to monstrous proportions, bacne, and psychotic mood swings. These mood swings are not helped by those surrounding the Joos, although, to be fair, the Joos could be surrounded by a million Mother Theresas and still rip the eyes from the sockets of anyone who spoke to them.

Since Bad Joo is clearly meant to be pregnant, her body has, at 13 weeks, swollen to size AREYOUFUCKINGKIDDINGME (petite)? This has, as you Internettes might imagine, lead to many the hilarious exchange.

Case in point:

Bad Joo gave up on fitting into her tiny tees this week and decided to wear a maternity shirt to work. THIS WAS A BAD, A BAD YOU KNOW IT SHAMON DECISION. For immediately upon her arrival at work, the following occurred:

BAD JOO'S BOSS: Hello, Chubby!


Internettes, you do not need to know how a pregnant Joo reacts to being called chubby. Bad Joo does not want you to develop chronic nightmares or begin torturing animals in your angst and despair. Suffice it to say that there are bits of vocal chords strewn about many a historic building throughout Bible Belt City, and Bad Joo's Boss has retired. And Bad Joo has decided 'tis better to have one's melon-like belly hang from the bottom of a tiny tee than to eviscerate one's boss following a chubbers comment.

Watch for more hilarity as we follow Bad Joo down the long, long, interminably long road to C's arrival. God Save Us.

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