Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A Tale of Four Boobies

One of the many differences between the two Joos are their breasticles. Bad Joo has tiny little cupcakes. Good Joo has an ample bosom. In the below photo, Good Joo's boobs are at center, Bad Joo's (which, honestly, are more like side pork dragged into the bikini field) are at right, and fraternal boobs are at left.

We begin this discussion not because Good Joo wants to underscore her superiority in every way (although she may), but rather to discuss the reaction breasticles and the Joos' breasticular disparity evoke in the very young (very old, and those with compromised immune systems).

A bit of background: Good Joo has two daughters, A and B. A came first and is three. B came next and is only a few weeks of age. B's reaction to the breasticular disparity is not exciting, because she cannot speak and thinks only of Good Joo's boobs and the milk they bring forth. It is A's reaction we consider here.

Naturally, A is infatuated with her mom's breasticular appendages. So much so, that as the birth of B approached, and the breasticles got larger and larger, she schemed like a gangster to invent ways in which she could observe them unfettered. As below:

Scene I

A (all casual and shit): Mommy do you want to tubby (read: take a boiling hot bath) with me?

J: I don't think so, A.

A (crying a bit desperately and very dramatically): Mommy, I want to see the milk (from your pregger breasticles).

J: Honey, that's private (even though it shoots you in the eye when we are tubby-ing).

A cries. J sighs. The bathwater runs a background marathon, and the two characters prepare to jump in.
A (delighted): Mommy, your boobies are huge!

J: Yes, honey.

(Husband in background giggles like a woman)

A: Your circles are very, very big.

J: Yes, honey.

(More background girly giggling from husband, who, let it not be forgotten, has thus far been spared death and dismemberment at the hands of his pregnant wife, and should therefore shut his pie hole).

A: Mommy, they are for nursing baby horses.

J: Yup.

A: Mommy, that's beautiful.

This exchange does four things as an introduction to Joo and Joo.

1. It identifies the fact that A is adorable.
2. It illustrates that everything in the Good Joo house revolves around Joo's boobs, the tub, and horses.
3. It illustrates the enormity of Joo's boobs and their proposed use for nourishing orphaned foals.
4. It introduces the husband of the Joo, who laughs like a girl.

Now, in contrast, let us examine the Bad Joo's breasticles as seen through the innocent eyes of a child.

Scene II

The scene: a visit chez Good Joo by Bad Joo. The actors are changing into their pyjamas.

Note d'auteur: please read any sentence in the following scene that includes the word "tiny" or a synonym thereof in the highest pitch possible. Those desiring a truly authentic experience may wish to hold their hands out in front of them and make small movements therewith, much like a person feeling a sheet to ascertain the quality of the cotton or thread count. Like so:

A: Oooooh, Aunt Joo. You have such tiny, little, itty, bitty boobies!
J: Yes, A.
A: Ooooooh, Aunt Joo. They're sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute!
J: Thank you, A.
A (with mounting enthusiasm and pitch): They're just tiny, little baby boobies!
J: Yes, they are.
A: And, Aunt Joo, your circles are so little and cute!
J (putting on her nightgown): Thank you, A. Time for bed!

Bad Joo left the following day, and one might reasonably assume that the above exchange would be the end of that particular topic. One would assume incorrectly.

Scene III takes place over breakfast. Mother and daughter are bathed in morning light, enjoying toasty hot bowls of porridge.

A: Oh, Mommy. Aunt Joo has the cutest little boobies!
J: Is that so?
A: Oh, yes. They are so little!
J : Awwww.
A: Mommy, your boobies are huge! Mommy, your boobies are the mommy and daddy boobies, and Aunt Joo's boobies are the baby boobies!
J: (dabbing at porridge that has spilled from her left nostril) Right!


While this is not the end of the four boobies, it is the end for today. Any thoughts from other persons having breasticular experience are welcome, provided such thoughts do not start out with, "I never expected this to happen to me" and/or are not accompanied by pornographic imagery, anime or otherwise.

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