Internettes, I know I haven't called or written in some time. I know you've been leaving increasingly desperate text messages for me, including graphic shots of your nether regions in a blatant attempt to get my attention. Internettes, I've done you wrong, but now I'm back.
Internettes, I don't know what made me spend my time with another. Maybe it was the promise of a regular paycheck, the need to be fed on a regular basis, or the increasingly suspicious looks I was getting from my employer. In any case, I'm over all that now.
Internettes, now that I'm back, I'm going to make it up to you. You'll see. I'm going to pick you up in an iridescent stretch Hummer limo, which I will have pre-stocked with all the blog posts you could ever want to read, including videos of kids making up stories about hippos, photos from junior high, humiliating stories about dating, and much, much more. I'll put on some romantic music http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTyD_8hcmzA, and then I'll ramble on and on and on and on about nothing in particular. I'll listen to your comments, and I'll respond with pertinent replies. There will be corn.
And then I'll ignore you again for another week. Internettes, please bear with us as the Joos navigate a particularly busy couple of weeks.
Post Script: Alert reader, bakonbitzz offers this little number in response to the Ice Castles theme. Queen Joo, eat your heart out: http://blip.fm/bakonbitzz