The Bad, Old Joo has been having a senseless outbreak of the eczema, which is driving her mad. Mad, she tells you. Naturally, when BOJ itches, she reaches for some hydrocortisone anti-itch ointment. Not mad, you say? Certainly not.
Except that in this litigious age, hydrocortisone anti-itch ointment bears the following warning, amongst others:
Do not put directly into the rectum by using fingers or any mechanical device or applicator.
Someone needs to hire an attorney for this manufacturer. This Joo may be silly, but she believes this means that one could insert the ointment into one's rectum using a hydraulic lift, or chemical propellant.